On the topic of grief during times of joy…
Perhaps one of life’s most incomprehensible juxtapositions is that of suffering and grief in times of joy. Special moments like Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and weddings punctuated with sorrow and suffering somehow just do not make sense to our finite minds. I think of a mother battling cancer in the lead-up to her oldest son’s wedding. Did celebration cease because of the realization that the mother was facing an uphill battle with cancer? Certainly not, but the celebration was no doubt tempered by the ever-present reality of the circumstances.
I think of my own circumstance with my grandfather falling suddenly ill with cancer just after Thanksgiving and passing away just the day after Christmas. Christmas, while still a time of celebration, took a more somber tone due to the presence of sorrow. Even recently, hearing of a family losing a wife and mother just four days before Christmas, it’s impossible to not question how two opposing emotions can coexist. In life, we want to keep emotions segregated without any co-mingling. When we celebrate, that’s the only emotion we want to feel. When we, unfortunately, sorrow and suffer, that’s all we want to do. There seems to be no place in our finite understanding for the combination of celebration and sorrow.
As one considers his own situations where celebrations have been tainted with sorrow, it is tempting to allow present celebrations to be continually tainted by past sorrows of the same time. To be sure, the time can bring back memories of sadness, which is natural. But we have a choice. Just because one time of celebration was punctuated with pain doesn’t mean that all future celebrations must be the same. We have the opportunity to choose joy, and we must do so. But how can we have this joy? Scripture tells us, “We sorrow not as those who have no hope,” meaning that those of us who know Christ have a hope that supersedes sorrow, that hope being found in the cross of Christ. The cross clearly shows Christ’s suffering in a most gruesome way, but His suffering is the cause of much joy! He paid our debt, and debt we could never repay, and His payment on our behalf gives us life! As the old hymn says, “Did ever such love and sorrow meet…” What we see at the cross is a powerful picture of pain and sorrow combining with joy and hope.
So, while the juxtaposition makes no sense to our finite minds, and while our hearts rightly sorrow, we must keep heart that the juxtaposition makes eternal sense. The sorrow has a happy ending, and it’s all because of the cross. While we may sorrow here temporarily, we have eternity to look forward to a time when we will never cease to celebrate our Christ. This brings great hope.